TEN DAYS, THREE THOUSAND MILES.

"WHY NOT? WHY NOT BOARD THE DOG AND SCREAM UP THE CALIFORNIA AND SPEND SOME NIGHTS IN A TREE HOUSE AND THEN GO TO IDAHO AND THEN WYOMING AND THEN AND THEN AND THENBAAHAHAHAHAHAAAABABABA!"

Ahem...

That's what my brain was screaming this morning at 5:30 am when I pried it open like the mouth of a dead lion and then dragged my ankles along with the rest of my body and subsequent family into the car- the wife (Tiffany) and kids (Charlie and Chase) included, to set off for an epic road trip. The details are still coming to me...but first...breakfast at McDonald's.

(Drive Thru Speaker)

"Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order?"

"We need a minute, please..."

"One number two combo?"

"No no, sorry...I said I need a moment to look at the menu..."

(long pause)

"Will that be all?"

"Nono. I didn't order anything yet. I don't want the number two combo. I need to look at the menu."

"So no number two combo?"

"No."

"Then what would you like?"

"I would like you to SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD!!!!!!"

Of course I didn't say that. I know they'd charge extra.

So we hit the road sleepily champing down combo substance. We needed to get to San Mateo by lunch to meet up with my good friend Mariano and his lovely family. We haven't seen them in a long time, and I love a driving challenge. So...done. Done done and done. We made it by lunch, Harris Ranch be damned and forever in our rear view!

"LOOK KIDS! COWS! FRUIT GROVES! LOOK! SHEEP! HORSES! LOOK A TRUCK FULLA TOMATOES!" I turned expecting to see them excitedly looking out the car window, their eyes full of wonder! But no...they were both buried in their DSes. I mean, COME ON! A TRUCK FULL OF TOMATOES? So magical!

On the 5, however, my sore back felt a little more sore. I've been worried that it would just totally blow out on me at the worst possible moment...on vacation. However, the more I drove, the better it felt. Okay! No problem. Then...zingzingzing...one of my back teeth starting to buzz with what might be impending hardcore cavity action. So for about fifty miles I started to hyper focus on that feeling. Great. What if instead of my back blowing out over vacation- I wake up with the electrifying agony of a cavity?! What in the hell would I do then? I just kept imagining my kids sitting in the waiting room of some Boise dental office, grumbling about how, "Maybe if Daddy went to the dentist every six months like weeeeee have to then our vacation memories wouldn't be ruined!"

Luckily though, the tooth pain sorta calmed down...although I know something's going on back there. However, all was replaced by the clear and sharp pain of a throat infection. Which I know I have. For sure. For certain. Lucky me.

After a very nice lunch catching up with Mariano, the Dodge Four said our goodbyes and we peeled further up north to Santa Rosa, home of the great Charles M. Schulz- and his museum.

Friends called Schultz "Sparky." Apparently, according to the museum, he was a pyromaniac as a child.

Okay, he wasn't a pyromaniac. His father gave him that nickname after a popular funnies character of the time.

The museum was classy and cozy and I hope inspiring to my oldest daughter, who has become quite the doodler. This is what she dreamed up on one of those paper napkin rings during lunch:

Interestingly, there is a calming effect that the Schultz museum has. I can't place my finger on why. Maybe it was all in my head, but it was nice. It felt almost, nourishing, in a way.

After we left the museum we checked into a local Hilton, grabbed some smashing Italian food. And now I'm about to gargle some hydrogen peroxide. I will fight this infection. It will submit.

Tomorrow...Jelly Belly factory and Tree House hotel.