TEN THINGS I'M GOING TO DO ON MY BIRTHDAY

Since today is my birthday, I figured, why not OWN it! So here is a list of things I aim to do today on my birthday. I hope it inspires everyone to do the same on their birthday.

TEN THINGS I'M GOING TO DO ON MY BIRTHDAY

1. Wake my wife up this morning by whispering a creepy falsetto rendition of "Happy Birthday to me!"

2. Drink an ounce of beer for every year I've been alive.

3. Go to Disneyland without my kids. Then take pictures and show them later.

4. Whenever a "cast member" wishes me a happy birthday, respond with "Fuck Yeah...oh ho ho fuck yeaaaah."

5. Go to the Carnation Baby Center at the end of Main Street and request my complimentary birthday breast-feeding.

6. Play my electric guitar and then kick something over- preferably something unbreakable.

7. Point out to someone that I've survived on this world longer than Jesus did, again.

8. Demand my wife jump out of a cake in her birthday law-suit. (she's a lawyer) HIGH-HAT!

9. Accuse some kid, probably one my own, of being an ungrateful whipper snapper. Because really, I had it tougher.

10. Force my wife to applaud and encourage others around us to applaud after everything I say.