Thursday, December 10, 2009

(W.O.C.) War On Christmas: What would our Christmas be like without the Baby Jesus?

So I think maybe a little pondering is necessary. What would Christmas be like if it wasn't, in any way, focused on the sweet baby Jesus? It's already headed that way, but let's just cut Jebus out entirely of Christmas...how would we be different?

Charlie Brown Christmas Special.

WITH JESUS

Charlie Brown declares, "Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?" Linus replies, "Sure Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about..." Then he walks center stage and requests..."Lights, please?" before he goes on his religious monologue about baby Jesus and the angels. And then Linus wraps his shitty blanket around the crappy tree and makes it look like it's an eighty dollar Douglas fur with fancy lights and they all sing.

WITHOUT JESUS

Charlie Brown declares, "Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?" Linus replies, "Sure Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about..." Then he walks center stage and declares..."The lights! Puhleese!" And then his wraps his shitty blanket around the crappy tree and makes it look like it's an eighty dollar Douglas fur with fancy lights and they all sing.

In my opinion... the Jesusless Charlie Brown Christmas Special is a lot more honest. Because really, what little kid cares about some mythological superhero baby over cool Christmas lights and friends and family?

THE GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS

It's the same... Grinch doesn't have Jesus in its message at all. Why? Because Grinch centers on the idea of the importance of merely being with one another over gifts. It also focuses on how a "good society" can get past tradition and cherish the important things in life. Jeepers...I wonder what's "traditional" about Christmas? Could it be the religious aspect? Thus Grinch is practically ANTI-RELIGIOUS muuuaahahaha.

Christmas trees

With Jesus

An angel on the top of the tree. And the knowledge that the "Christmas tree" was a practice stolen from one religion for another- a stolen tradition, rather.

Without Jesus

No angel. Not much difference. Nobody buys a tree because they love baby Jesus. They buy a tree because they love the smell and the enjoy the thrill of something to put presents under, hence it's a celebration of nature (harking back to its original religious intent) and generosity, both are values that happily exist without wonder baby.

Nativity

With Jesus

A barn with barn animals, angels, adults, and a baby.

Without Jesus

A barn with barn animals and adults. Doesn't quite say much. In fact, it kind of highlights how strange the image is when you go ahead and throw in the whole baby and angel part. Feels more like a joke: "A sheep, a virgin, and a baby all walked into a barn..."

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

Only one difference: Tiny Tim's one-liner: "God Bless us, everyone!" Even without Jesus that line can hang in there. In Truth, nobody in America celebrated Christmas until the publishing of Charles Dickens's pretty awesomely a-religious story- yet now people cling to Christmas like it's some 800 year old tradition. So if A Christmas Carol isn't about Jebus, what's it about? Oh, you know...the usual themes that exist when you're not trying to convert someone...kindness, togetherness, family, generosity.


In my opinion, and it seems the growing opinions of most humans, Christmas is and kind of never has been really about Jesus. Thus the war seems to continue.

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