Washington D.C.

Well, it's been two days here in our nation's capitol, and let me tell you.  I'm wet.  No, I'm not talking about my eyes from pride, although I am feeling a strange amount of that right now...no...IT'S RAINING ELEPHANTS AND DONKEYS OVER HERE!!!  Cold and damp and deluge and plops without any fizzesses.  

Yesterday we tackled the mall.  The layout of everything is so smart and beautiful.  The war memorials heartbreaking.  I actually looked around at some nearby space and wondered if that's where the next one or two will be erected.  A damn shame to even ponder that.

Yesterday marked the 144th anniversary of the assassination of Lincoln, which made visiting the Memorial all the more cool.  I don't think I've ever shared this with anyone but I've always held an interest in Lincoln.  If any of you want to read a total kickass book, pickup MANHUNT: the 12 Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer, by James L. Swanson.  It's a brilliant and breathtaking account of what happened 144 years ago.  But I digress.

Today we visited the new SPY MUSEUM.  It was interesting, though maybe a bit disorganized.  It claims all things in it were actual devices and techniques used by spies, but then right smack dab in the middle of the exhibit is a James Bond car.  So, maybe it was all just tourist trap stuff.  

After that we stopped by the National Museum of Portraits.  Gorgeous.  I was in awe to see so many portraits I had only seen in crummy textbooks before.  The unfinished portrait of Washington.  The profile portrait of Lincoln that the penny is based on.  I think Charlie got a lot out of that stop.

After that we made a pass through the Museum of American History.  At some point in that last fifteen years they've completely redone it.  There is a very gripping exhibit on...Lincoln's life.  They actually had the white towel that General Lee had carried when he arrived to negotiate the surrender of the South.  I was jabbering silly when I saw that.  So cool.

But honestly, aside from the Lincoln exhibit, the rest of the Museum felt very slapped together and unfinished.  So much more can be done with it.  There was a room maybe slightly larger than my office called "Thanks for the Memories."  It had Seinfeld's shirt, the Ruby Slippers from the Wizard of Oz, Sid Caesar's hat, Oscar the Grouch and Kermit, and some sports uniforms.  Really?  That's all the Museum of American History has to say about the mediums it either created or perfected?  Or even just about American pop culture?  A bit abbreviated, no? Maybe in time improvements will be made.

Although one totally rad item they were showcasing was the actual flag that inspired THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER.  After I walked through the viewing room I wanted to run back in and with a baritone voice sing "AND THE FLAG WAS STILL THERE..." but my wife saw the look in my eyes, pursed her lips and shook her head "No."  I slouched my shoulders and we walked off to go look at the old steam engine exhibit.

Our last stop of the day was to the National Archives to take a peek at the Declaration of Independence and Constitution and Bill of Rights.  This is what the trip has been mainly about for me.  I think these three documents represent some of the greatest heights of mankind.  The line to get in was forever and in the rain.  Once out of the rain, the security was as thorough as in an airport.  Once inside the belly of the archives all you could hear was the security guard endlessly blowing his whistling and screaming at the top of his voice at the swarms of high school kids that had been bused in to please stop acting like utter jackasses.  Now, I can't speak for every teen in the world, but judging from the bus load after bus load of teenagers I've encountered so far in D.C., I really advocate just locking a person up for their entire teenage stage of life.  Outside of school, just lock them in a room with their favorite things:  a computer so they can share their newly discovered wit with peers, a television and a mirror.  I think this would be beneficial to both the teen and the rest of the world.  I think it would have made me a better person, and I've already started designing my girl's teen prisons.  Frankly, I have no idea why these kids are even here to begin with.  Not a single one has looked at all interested in what they are looking at or what they are doing.  I'm not expecting them to be in awe...but don't they have to- at the very least- be AWARE of where they are?  There are just these hordes of kids everywhere sitting on floors and flirting and screaming and posing and phoning and texting and jumping on each other's backs and pouting and hugging each other and doing everything but what I thought a person could do best after taking the trouble to get to Washington D.C.- look around!  Please America, stop busing your kids to Washington!  A bus full of teenagers doesn't improve any mood, environment or situation.

By the way, I was still totally geeked at seeing the old documents.  They are all really faded and kept in the chambers of gas that glow green...

When Tiffany and I decided to bring the girls on this trip I immediately started trying to picture what it would be like.  The one thing I never imagined was all the opportunity for great conversation with the girls that we've had.  We're not forced to jam in conversation over a bath or dinner or shoehorn a talk in before bedtime or school time.  We are actually talking.  And Washington offers so much to talk about!  This has been great.  I can't wait to do it again tomorrow.